with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just took my morning after pill in the library
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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