Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
