i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
