doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
