return my video game
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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