my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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