I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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