What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
