he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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