I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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