IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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