In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
