Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
