I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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