do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
