Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
