oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
