In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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