I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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