Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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