Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
