He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
