Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
