Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
