we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
