so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
