due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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