I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
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i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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