i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
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There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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