im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
