You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
