Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
