oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
