His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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