just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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