I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just high enough for therapy.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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