I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
