It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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