i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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