are you so shy because you have an std?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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