A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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