windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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