she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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