I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
