YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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