Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
