happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
17 year olds will be the death of me.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize