He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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