This is not my ceiling
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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