Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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