I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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