I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
