the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just sucked dick on a ferry
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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