is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
