im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
