yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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