Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
