You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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