I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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