I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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