..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
okay pat passed out under dana's car
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
