But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
