i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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