Soap is not a condiment
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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