Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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